Ways And Techniques To Protect Your Sexual Life From Your Kids

Having children can destroy your Sexual Life. Here’s how to prevent that from happening. The previous week, as I lay in bed trying to catch some sleep with a diapered behind smashed against my cheek, I thought why it is that children are so gifted at sucking the life out of their parents’ sex lives.

My children don’t even know what sex is (I don’t think, in spite the fact that I may have just jinxed that), but they’re like a little sex leeches, bleeding the life out of our bedchamber activities. It’s sarcastic that they can be so skilled at obstructing the actual act that got them here. As I looked at my snoring kid, his head cuddled on my husband’s chest, I was thinking about how I ended up with the doubtfully fragrant close of the deal. Then I thought about how deliberate we have to take care of our sex life (Sexual Life) and keep it from falling by the wayside of a busy family life. Here are five ways we do so:

Get a Babysitter

The only better thing than responsible high school babysitters who will keep your children safe and amused for a small fee are grandparents. Can I get an “Amen?” From time to time you just have to drop the children off at grandma’s house so you can go on a date leaving the kids in the house in a safe hands and having an hour to invest in our marriage? And while we have yet to do this, there’s something sentimental and downright erotic about having a sitter come to the house and going to a hotel. Who mentioned date night had to be dinner and a movie?

Proceed a “Back to Bed” Strategy

I’ve already told you about my rounds of nocturnal “Diaper next to my Face.” I’m not good at standing firm on this, especially when our prospective roommate is endearingly snuggly. My toddler was ill  last week, and he slept in our room so I could keep an eye on him. Obviously, this was a great gamble, owing to the fact that he’s lobbying to make the arrangement forever. “I am iiiill,” he’s yelling in the middle of dinner. Before I realize he was crying wolf, this terrified  me a bit, especially on spaghetti night. Spaghetti puke is total. But I rapidly  caught on, especially once he followed up with “I sleep Daddy’s room.” Aha.

To avoid anger and a generally helpless end to the evening, we’ve got a compromise. We let him fall asleep in our bed, and then my husband carries him upstairs when we’re ready to hit the bag. Till now my son kept up his end of the deal and stayed in his bed once we move him. I believe he’ll outgrow this stage sooner, but for now, it’s working.

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Lock the Door

My kids do not feel sure about the truth of closed doors, especially if I’m behind them. If I didn’t close the bathroom door, there would be a gang every time I had to pee. Just to prevent having miniature witnesses to our married people time, we try to remember to shut the door. If they need us, we surely stop what we’re doing and be with them, but locking the door at least allows us the occasion to scramble for clothing without worrying that we’ve scarred our children’s eyeballs.

Be in Bed Early — Or At Least on Time

Ah, bedtime. The remarkable time of day when I can do whatever I want without sticking to anything. Once the kids are in their beds (or my bed, as the case may be), I begin a crazy scramble to finish everything I couldn’t get to during the day. This is when I write, and do laundry, and dishes, and read — and it’s also the time I try to reconnect with my husband. Now, don’t get me wrong. There was a time in our marriage when it was never too late for having sex (Sexual Life). But now, especially with the children, sleep is precious, and I‘m not going to sacrifice it for sex. Going to bed on time lets the window of opportunity always wide open for romance.

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