Spanking method has been widely debated. Even though most experts advise against punitive punishment, many parents still report spanking is an effective discipline strategy. Before you decide if it is right to spank your child, examine the potential consequences of physical punishments on your child.
Reasons of Parents Spank:
Most of the times, parents spank their children out of desperation. When kids frequently misbehave, parents may feel they are at the edge of their patience, Therefore, they are not sure of what else to do. Mostly, they say: “Nothing else seems to work.”
Without a reasonable discipline strategy, it may seem that spanking is the best choice among all the other options on the table. Usually, parents rely on spanking to fix behavior problems without even trying alternative discipline options.
Another reason why parents spank their children is out of rage. A parent who doesn’t accept a specific misbehavior from one of his children may spank as a short cut. But she\he never takes into account the consequences.
They just react out of anger and fear. Without a clear plan instead, spanking may become the first line of defense.
Read : Positive Parenting: Is it the Effective Approach?
The Consequences of Spanking:
Spanking a child has never been a solution; rather, it is the worst thing your child could ever experience. Its effects stick to the kid all her\his life. As a result, it causes her\him psychological problems.
Here are some reasons you must consider before spanking your child:
- Spanking doesn’t teach your kid how to behave appropriately: A child who gets spanked making a mistake won’t learn how to get avoid in the future. Positive Parenting should be of much help instead.
- Spanking models aggression: Children do what parents do; they don’t usually do what they say. So, if you spank your kid for any reason despite what it is, you are sending a confusing message.
- Children who are spanked often feel shame: The idea of “I’m bad” will get over the kid and may struggle with self-esteem issues. Children who experience shame at a certain stage aren’t motivated to improve their behavior.
- Spanking shifts a child’s focus from their behavior to their parents’: Kids may spend their time focusing on their parents’ reaction to their behavior rather than on what they could do better next time. Therefore, spanked kids make decisions based on thinking “What can I do that won’t get me a spanking” versus “What’s the best choice I can make right now.”
- Spanking loses effectiveness over time: Sometimes kids get used to the punishment. It becomes a habit. A more effective discipline strategy, such as taking away privileges for 24 hours, can be much more effective in motivating kids to behave.
- Spanking isn’t an option as children grow older: If you have always used spanking to discipline your child, what will you do when she\he is grownup and strong? It has never been an appropriate way of making your kid aware of his misdeed and changing it. It only makes things worse.
Alternatives to Spanking:
If you’re looking for alternative to spanking, here are eight ways to discipline your child without using physical punishment.
Place your Child in Time-Out:
In most of the situations, time-out could be effective. In their time-out, Kids have plenty of time in which they can reconsider the misdeed they have committed. If they are removed from the situation, the lack of attention will be uncomfortable and that discomfort could remind them to behave better in the future.
Take Away Privileges
Although a spanking has immediate results for a minute or two, taking away a privilege has longer effects. Take away iPad, video games, her\his favorite toy or a fun activity for the day and that shall remind her\him not to repeat that mistake.
Make your child aware of the fact that privileges are earned back. Usually, the length should gradually expand according to the misbehavior so your child can learn from her\his mistake.
Read : Parenting Classes or Traditional Methods ?
Ignore Mild Misbehavior:
Ignoring some cases of misbehavior, actually, is more effective than spanking. This doesn’t mean you should look the other way if your child is doing something wrong or even dangerous. But, you can ignore attention-seeking behavior.
When your child tries to get attention by shouting, for example, don’t show signs of interest and ignore him. Pretend that you don’t hear him, and don’t respond.
Then, when she\he reacts nicely or behaves, give her\him attention. It is only in time he will pick up the positive behavior.
Teach New Skills:
The main problem why spanking is not an effective way is that it doesn’t teach your child how to behave better. Spanking your child because he hit his brother won’t teach him what is wrong about it.
Kids need to learn how to solve their problems, to handle a difficult situation while they are angry and then compromise.
If you teach your kids these skills, it will be of great help in the future and will make them behave in the correct way for the rest of their lives. Use approaches that aim for teaching, NOT PUNISHING.
Provide Logical Consequences:
Logical consequences are a great way to help kids who are confused about what to consider as misbehavior. Logical consequences are specifically tied to the misbehavior.
For example, if your child doesn’t finish his dinner, don’t let her\him watch T.V for 2 hours next day. Or if he refuses to pick up his toys, prevent her\him to play with them for the rest of the day.
Making a clear connection between consequences and the behavior problem makes your kid see that the consequences are the result of the action.
Reward Good Behavior:
Instead of spanking for misbehavior, reward your kid for behaving. For instance, if your child keeps making a mistake, promise her\him a reward to motivate her\him get better.
Providing a stimulant to behave can fix the misbehavior fast. Rewards help kids to focus on what they need to do to earn privileges, rather than being afraid of being spanked.
Praise Good Behavior:
Prevent behavior issues by showing your child that she\he has been good. For example, when she\he finishes her\his dinner, highlight it. Make your child see how behaving is important.
Spanking kids has been the center of concern for many people; whether it is an effective way or just something that will ruin your kids’ lives. But certainly, it has never been a solution. And only people who have experienced it can tell how it has caused them problems on the psychological level. Raising your child is totally different from spanking her\him.
Do you agree or disagree with these ideologies? Let us know your opinion in the comments section below!
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