About 75 percent 1. 2 every year, finally, a million Americans get divorced and most of them have children. Suddenly they find that family life is more complicated than they imagined (mixed family). It’s full of problems with a complicated schedule, fights between siblings, a former partner, and a new spouse who was never a parent trying to take care of a child.
But the other side of life as a United family is that there are many opportunities for a pleasant interaction. Most parents begin to feel affection for their genuinely caring children, and children usually learn to accept and return the affection. To adapt to the new situation is not easy, so you need to try step by step in the family to build relationships. And it often ends with you learning a lot about trust, security, and love.
How Do you Make it Through those Tough Beginnings?
According to experts, it usually takes two to five years for a one-step family to form as a whole. At first, everyone almost eliminated the new members. For example, a mother will treat herself as a nanny. As a result, the movement through the absolute positive will be established. As a mother, if you want to solve it, you have to impose yourself as a mother-in-law, go ahead and skin the babysitter. But here’s the question.
How Can I Be a Mother-in-Law Instead of a Nanny?
The new family can be treated as a foreigner, a person who wants to steal the child’s father. Do not react to this as disrespect, because in the long term it will negatively affect your relationship. The child should feel safe. Always be there for them. It is a simple tool that will only make you shy and trust. In the first few days you need to be careful to not reinforce power. Sometimes they just need someone to talk to. If you become that person, I assure you that you are in control. Does a male partner face the same situation?
Does the Male Partner Face the Same Situation?
Despite the exceptions that exist in this situation, men are a little easier. Therefore, even if a person remembers something that is easier to do, especially if you can get your period. The first few months the normal mode of the child will be free. Even if the child does not behave from time to time (not every time), the stepfather can ignore him and balance.
But when you get used to it, You need to make sure you treat your child and Stepsons alike. On the other hand, husbands should consider removing them as much as possible. Gifts and gifts will also be effortless.
Harmony in the Family
Kids need parental coherence or they will become confused and insecure. It’s little wonder, then, that one of the greatest sources of tension in step-families is the problem of discipline (blended families). Researches show that children learn trust when they experience fair, effective discipline. Cases of disagreements between parents about discipline often invite manipulation from the kids, who quickly learn to pit adults against one another to get what they want.
The importance of regulation
Experts suggest that you and your partner should agree upon a list of values you both want to teach, such as responsibility and honesty. Then, tackle your beliefs on parenting. For example, you may think that time-out is an effective discipline tool, while your partner may feel it’s a wimpy way out.
Next, set a list of household rules, such as how much TV the kids are allowed to watch. Once you are both clear on each other’s opinions, you can discuss discipline problems and what strategies you can use that will be effective for your family and that honor everyone’s beliefs. This strategy works most often for most blended families.
From House to Home
Once you have created a sense of solidarity in family, turning it into a loving, well-blended home is another task entirely. Step-families need time together in order to cope with the new situation and melt completely in the new family, a tall order when you consider visitation and custody schedules.
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This does not mean that you have to carve out enormous blocks of time to connect with one another. Reading a story every night before bed or taking a weekly trip to the playground as a family helps children feel loved and listened to, cornerstones of harmonious family life.
Communication between partners
You need to have time alone with your partner to discuss family issues away from children. At each meeting, pick the most important problems you have been having and find practical solutions. At the end of each meeting, give each other backrubs, for example, or watch a movie to reward yourselves. And schedule regular date nights and weekends away and have time only for yourselves. Learning from the past relationship mistakes makes couples in step-families better.
As you are working hard on household harmony in your family, it’s a necessity that you do the same with your ex-partners. The primary source of children’s problems after divorce is the inability of parents to keep their negative feelings about their ex or their ex’s new partner away from the kids. You have to always bear in mind that children take their emotional cues from their parents. Showing negative feeling about what goes on in that other household just makes things harder. Sometimes the ex-partner wants always to start a fight, but you have to put your kids first and keep calm.
The Relationship between Children
One of The most unpredictable parts of the blended family equation might be how the kids deal with one another. The truth is that many children consider new stepsiblings a nuisance or even a threat. Your 2-year-old, for example, may feel dethroned if she finds herself living with a cute 1-year-old brother, and your 4-year-old may resent the fact that his kindergartner stepsister gets to color on the big-kid worksheets.
To help erasing these patterns of behavior, you need to, first of all, be just. You treat them equally. You punish them for the same mistakes, and you praise them for the same good behavior. And bringing a new baby to the family will surely lighten the intensity between both sides because the newborn will be something in common for all sides around which they gather.
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